Odd Obsession

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #22

Emily Dickinson, Poem 591 Pg. 87

March 20, 2009

"I heard a Fly buzz - when I died -/The Stillness in the Room/Was like the Stillness in the Air -/Between the Heaves of Storm -/The Eyes around - had wrung them dry -/And Breaths were gathering firm/For that last Onset - when the King/Be witnessed - in the Room..." (Dickinson Poem 591 Pg. 87).

Emily Dickinson is commenting on what happened when she 'died' and that there were mourners present including a 'King'.

I personally think it is quite odd that Emily Dickinson was so fascinated with death and dying. I do not like to think about what would happened if I were to die, it is really depressing. She must have been so lonely all alone in her room for years. I wonder if she thought of the different ways in which she could die, which if she did, is a little abnormal in my view. The 'Fly' comes up multiple times in this poem, and I like how she capitalized that word and many other words to show the significance of the objects. When I think of a fly buzzing around a dead body, it is usually because it has been decaying for some time and the fly is swarming around the body. The fly being there while she was dying could have meant that the fly was waiting for her to die, as if it knew that it would be soon. It seems like the only sound in the room when she died besides the storm in the background, which is the perfect weather for a gloomy end. Dickinson mentioned a 'King' who was in the room when she died, and it could be many people. The person could have been her father, her brother, Jesus or God. I think that it was God coming up to take her away to Heaven. The other people in the room do not seem too sad that she has died, their eyes are already dry and their breathing is steady again, so they could have already grieved over her preparing to die. Maybe it is possible that the 'death' she is talking about is just a traumatizing experience that she endured early on in her life that caused a lot of pain for her and her family. That incident might have renewed some amount of faith she had in God. I just have a hard time thinking that she would write about her death; it is a negative subject, but she seemed to be looking forward to it.
Emily's obsession with death and dying is further explained in Wikipedia, "Dickinson's poems reflect her 'early and lifelong fascination' with illness, dying and death. Perhaps surprisingly for a New England spinster, her poems allude to death by many methods: 'crucifixion, drowning, hanging, suffocation, freezing, premature burial, shooting, stabbing and guillotinage.'" Her obsession with death is a little odder than I first thought it to be. I do not know why she would write about all these methods of death. I guess it might have helped her cope with her own eventual death.

A Night at Sea

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #21

Emily Dickinson, Poem 269, Pg. 82

March 19, 2009

"Wild nights - Wild nights!/Were I with thee/Wild nights should be/Our luxury!/Futile - the winds -/To a Heart in port -/Done with the Compass -/Done with the Chart!/Rowing in Eden -/Ah - the Sea!/Might I but moor - tonight -/In thee!" (Dickenson Poem 269 Pg. 82).

Emily Dickenson is referring to her night at sea with a mysterious person whose name is not mentioned. Their night on the sea appears to be romantic and sublime.

This short poem intrigued me after reading in the biographical section that Emily lived a solitary life in her room and never married or dated anyone. Her night on the sea with an unknown person appears to be a romantic time in her life. The person she might be alluding to is her sister-in-law Susan Gilbert, whom Emily seemed to love more than a friend. It could have been her poet mentor Benjamin Newton or even Wentworth Higginson, editor of the Atlantic Monthly. Since very little is known about her personal life, I would guess that she is referring to Susan Gilbert, or she might be fantasizing about a made up person in her mind that does not exist. It seems like the poem can be read in different ways. When I first read the poem, I just found it to be about Emily and a secret lover having a fun time at sea. When I read the poem after that, I noticed that the 'wild nights' allude to a sexual fantasy that she is experiencing in the poem. The 'Compass' and the 'Chart' can be seen as tools used to navigate around their bodies during their sexual acts. The 'Eden' refers to the Biblical Garden of Eden, and shows that she is in paradise with this person. The last stanza of the poem hints that maybe the lover she is enjoying her night with is the sea, and she is by herself enjoying the company of the vast open sea. She might also be in the sea trying to navigate her life with the 'Compass' and the 'Chart'. I think that however the poem is interpreted, it is clear that Emily had secret fantasies that she felt could never be lived through, even though she could have found someone to love and marry. There was something wrong with her that prevented her from doing this, and it is a shame that we will never know more about what happened to her that made her distance herself from the outside world.

My assumption about Susan Gilbert being the mysterious lover is somewhat supported when looking at Emily's love and admiration for her. According to Wikipedia, Emily wanted her undivided attention, "Her missives typically dealt with demands for Sue's affection and the fear of unrequited admiration, but because Sue was often aloof and disagreeable, Emily was continually hurt by what was mostly a tempestuous friendship." Emily seemed to be in love with someone who did not return her feelings. The night on the boat is merely a fantasy of something that she knew could never happen between her and Susan Gilbert.

We Are All One

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #20

Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"

March 13, 2009

"...And I know that the hand of God is the promise of my own...the spirit of God is the brother of my own, And that all the men ever born are also my brothers, and the women my sisters and lovers, And that a kelson of the creation is love..." (Whitman Lines 92-95 Pg. 33).

Walt Whitman is describing his connection with God and all the men and women who have ever lived. He states that love is the foundation of mankind.

I liked this quote because it did not appear to be sexual at all, and I wanted to look at a different aspect of Walt Whitman. I did not realize that he was deeply religious. It seems ironic that he was because he lived in a time when religion was a huge part of people's lives. Most people would attend church and pray at home. Whitman does not seem to fit the typical stereotype of a religious person of that time. His writing was so sexual and shocking that I think a lot of people could not believe that he was a religious man. They probably said that his writing was sinful and going against the Bible. I personally think that some of the sections from this poem seem like a sermon. In this quote where he talks about being connected to God and all of mankind reminds me of the few times I have been to church when the Pastor discusses how we are all God's children and he is our Heavenly Father. I am not deeply religious, but I do like what Whitman is saying about being connected with God. Even though Whitman can not see God, he just feels his presence and knows he exists, and that seems to satisfy him. I believe in God, and I like to think there is something beyond this life. His connection with all of the men and women ever born is also quite interesting. I am not sure, but he could have changed that line in a later edition, because he states that the women were his lovers, but not the men. I thought he was open about his sexuality, so if he did change this line, he probably thought of how the public would react. I liked his description of how the foundation of creation is love. Whitman is a universal man; he does not seem to have a problem accepting everyone. He sees men and women in an equal light, and he seems to believe that God created everyone with the instinct to love each other.

Walt Whitman is religious, but I learned something about his religious views that I did not know too much about. According to Wikipedia, Whitman was not a part of the normal religions of that time, "Whitman was deeply influenced by deism. He denied any one faith was more important than another, and embraced all religions equally." I was unaware that he saw all religions as equal, but I am not surprised because Whitman sounds like a very accepting person. When I looked up the religion deism on Wikipedia, I understood how Whitman was influenced by it, "Deism is a religious and philosophical belief that a supreme natural God exists and created the physical universe, and that religious truths can be arrived at by the application of reason and observation of the natural world." The entire poem is an observation of life around him, especially nature. Whitman was in a way observing God's creations and analyzing the meaning of life.

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #19

Walt Whitman, "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry"

March 12, 2009

"It avails not, time nor place-distance avails not, I am with you, you men and women of a generation, or ever so many generations hence, Just as you feel when you look on the river and sky, so I felt..." (Whitman Lines 20-22, Page 22).

Whitman is expressing to future generations that he is still with them on the ferry after he has died a hundred years later, and that he felt and saw the same things they are feeling and seeing at that moment.

I thought it was odd, yet unique that Whitman chose to write this poem to future generations. It is something that I have really never thought of myself until I read this poem. It is interesting to think that there are certain monuments and landmarks in our society that were here before we were born, and have remained somewhat the same ever since. Being in the water on that ferry boat must have been a wonder in itself to Whitman; I can only imagine what he would say if he were to be on a ferry in the same river and saw all of the sky scrapers and cars around him. I do not think he took into account that the future meant that things were bound to change in society. I am not an expert on different types of boats, but I think that there are not many ferries around anymore. The boats we would take across the river today are much faster and larger. Also, I do not think a lot of people still take the boats across the river, at least not the same large amount of people who did back in Whitman's time. Instead, people just take taxis or drive their own cars. I think he would be surprised at how much the future generations of men and women have changed from what he had in mind. People are so busy these days going from one place to another, and they do not take the time to enjoy the scenery around them anymore. Back in Whitman's time, nature was more appreciated because of the lack of technology that we have today. With cell phones, iPods, movies, television, video games and Facebook, a lot of people would rather sit inside all day than take a boat ride across a river. It is a little crazy to think that these esteemed members of American history were in the same places we go. For example, anyone that has gone to George Washington's estate on Mount Vernon for a tour must have thought how crazy it was for them to be in the same house that our first president lived in and walking on the same floors (more or less), and how they are reliving history.

Whitman seemed to think the future would look the same both in nature and concerning different issues in society; the same. According to Wikipedia, his general views on topics of that time were more closed-minded than I would have hoped, since his poem expressed a hope for the future, especially in reguards to slavery, "...he was not an abolitionist and believed the movement did more harm than good...Whitman also subscribed to the widespread opinion that even free African-Americans should not vote and was concerned at the increasing number of African-Americans in the legislature." Even though the future is very different from what his views are now, I think that he would still be glad that the river is still there carrying people across.

Move Forward and Don't Look Back

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #18
Kate Chopin, The Awakening Pgs. 590-625
March 6, 2009



"She went on and on. She remembered the night she swam far out, and recalled the terror that seized her at the fear of being unable to regain the shore. She did not look back now, but went on and on..." (Chopin 625).

Edna is swimming out to sea, and is recalling from her memory the night she swam in the same location on the Grand Isle, and how terrified she was then of swimming.

Edna has gone through a transformation since she was last on the Grand Isle. She seems more confused than ever, and unwilling to try and regain her life back. Edna is emotionally confused; she loves Robert, but she has some loyalty to her children. Edna has also experienced sensual acts with Adele and Madame Reisz. She has become overwhelmed in her situations and does not know what to do with her new found freedom. I think that the ocean comforts her; it is the only thing that fully embraces her. The ocean once represented a vast unknown mass that could have drowned Edna, but now she has discovered it to be a place of freedom. Edna should have been rejoicing that Robert came back from Mexico and said that he loved her, but when he left her a confusing note, she decided that it was not worth living anymore. All she wanted was Robert to love her and accept the woman she was. I do not think she even knows who she really is. Edna has been pushing everyone away who cares about her; Leonce, her sons, Adele and even Alcee, although he seemed to only want her for sexual reasons. I think Edna is going through an identity crisis, mixed with depression. Even though she has been physically in New Orleans, her mind was cut off from the rest of the world. The time she spent on the Grand Isle made her question her marriage, her role as a wife and mother and what she really wants out of life. Though she does not come out and admit it, I think Edna was disappointed that her marriage to Leonce did not satisfy her. He is the father of her two children and treats her like a queen, yet she still insists that it is not enough. She wanted to fit into the Creole society, but the expectations that she was confronted with proved to be too much; being put under pressure as the wife of a respected and wealthy man caused her to crack. She no longer wanted to be seen as Leonce's wife, but as Edna, a woman with her own confused thoughts and feelings.

Kate Chopin can relate to Edna Pontellier in more ways than one. Both were estranged from their husbands, but for different reasons, and this caused them to act out. According to Wikipedia, Chopin suffered greatly when her husband died, "he left Kate with $12,000 in debt...She attempted to manage the plantation and store alone but with little success. According to Emily Toth, '[f]or a while the widow Kate ran his [Oscar's] business and flirted outrageously with local men.' She engaged in a relationship with a married farmer." Edna and Chopin both rebelled after their separations from their husbands out of sorrow and confusion. Chopin did not go as far as drowning herself in an ocean, but she still found a way to cope with her pain.

Married for all the Wrong Reasons

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #17

Kate Chopin, The Awakening Pgs. 535-590

March 5, 2009

"Her marriage to Leonce Pontellier was purely an accident...It was in the midst of her secret great passion that she met him. He fell in love, as men are in the habit of doing, and pressed his suit with an earnestness and an ardo which left nothing to be desired" (Chopin 548).

Edna married Leonce Pontellier because he kept pursuing her, but he did not offer anything worth desiring since he put his whole self in front of her.

It is evident that Edna does not have any loving attachment to Leonce, other than he is the father of her children, whom she does not even give enough motherly attention to. Further in the text, it mentions that Edna really wanted to marry him only when she found out her father and sister did not approve of his Catholic religion. I think Edna made a huge mistake marrying Leonce when she never wanted to. It seems like it was an opportunity she could not ignore; he was young, wealthy and upper class. She never desired to be with him like she desired to be with Robert. Edna could not live like other women in her society, where they marry mostly for wealth and status; she had to feel some inkling of love and passion. I think she had loved Leonce at one time, but it was not genuine enough to last. Edna married Leonce Pontellier because he kept pursuing her, but he did not offer anything worth desiring since he put his whole self infront of her. Before she realized it, Edna found herself at twenty-eight years old, married to a man whom she did not really love and with two children she was not very motherly to. She was trapped in a loveless marriage. I think Edna did not want to conform to the social norms of her upper class society; she was the housewife who had to present herself in the best way possible and be cordial to all who addressed her. She did not like the idea of people believing that she 'belonged' to her husband. Edna seemed to want to decide for herself who she can love, and who she could give her heart to.

As for the "secret great passion" she was pursuing when Edna met Leonce, I viewed it from two different types of criticism. From a queer perspective, this shows Edna's secret desires to be with women. Earlier in the novel she had intimate moments with Adele, and she could have had thoughts or encounters with women before her marriage to Leonce. From a feminist perspective, the passion was her painting, and her yearning for freedom and defiance of social norms. As a woman, Edna was expected to act a certain way in her social class, and I think she was tired of being told what to do, what to think and what to feel long before she married Leonce.

It is evident that Kate Chopin wanted to show readers that women could be strong and rise above what was expected of them. According to Wikipedia, this was a common theme in her stories, "Not many writers during the mid to late 19th century were bold enough to address subjects that Kate willingly took on. Although David Chopin, Kate's grandson, claims 'Kate was neither a feminist nor a suffragist, she said so. She was nonetheless a woman who took women extremely seriously. She never doubted women's ability to be strong.'" Kate Chopin was a great advocate for women, and she was able to show society that women do not have to live in the submissive role that was expected of them.

The Answer to Their Prayers?

Mary Kate Ryser-Oatman

Journal #16

Mark Twain, "Letters from the Earth"

February 27, 2009

"He prays for help, and favor, and protection, every day; and does it with hopefulness and confidence, too, although no prayer of his has ever been answered. The daily affront, the daily defeat, do not discourage him, he goes on praying just the same" (Twain 310).

Satan is describing in his letter how the humans of Earth pray to God often, hoping that he will answer them. They go on praying every day even though the prayers are not answered.

I am not a deeply religious person, but I do believe that there is a God. After reading this passage, I thought that Twain was showing how there are so many people who rely on the fact that there is a God who loves them and listens to all of their prayers. People have never seen or heard God, but they have faith that he exists. I think that a lot of people rely on God to help them with their problems when they think they can not fix them. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with praying; I too have prayed in times of desperation. I think that people need to learn how to correct the problems in their lives themselves, and not rely on something that may (or may not) exist. Twain is showing how people pray for both good and bad things, such as the Letter to the Earth on page 318. Praying for someone else's failure is not what praying should be about. A person should pray for their own well-being that does not harm other people.

There are people who need to believe that there is a God and a heaven to make sense of their lives. If there is someone who lives extravagantly in luxury, and someone who lives in poverty, the person who lives in poverty usually has more faith in a God because they think there will be a better life than what they are living when they die and go to heaven. People in this situation will pray to God; maybe to help them or to just listen to their problems, but as long as they believe he is listening to them, they are content.

I was lucky enough to find a website dedicated to Mark Twain quotes, and I found one that shows some of his feelings towards religion in a letter to his brother Orion Clemens from October 19-20, 1865, "I have a religion--but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor...Perhaps your religion will sustain you, will feed you--I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect--neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck" (Twain http://www.twainquotes.com/Religion.html). I believe this quote shows that Twain was somewhat religious, but his religion was tainted with ideas from the Gilded Age, and that there were different Gods for each social class. I do not agree with that idea, but this quote ties into the quote above, and that the poor tend to pray to God to help them with their problems, but they are never answered. Twain was immensely wealthy, and he did not have to pray for the wealth to come to him.